Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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