Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
