My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My pussy is not your playground.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
