I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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