So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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