I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
