I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
