His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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