I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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