So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
