I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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