Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
