i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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