Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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