he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
