There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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