she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
