i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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