big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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