Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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