I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
