And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
