when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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