All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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