im drinking this country out of the recession.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Randomize