turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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