you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
