my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
