I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
