When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
