Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
