did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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