dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
