dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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