At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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