He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
