she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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