The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
