the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
