let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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