people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
