I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
