worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize