So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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