hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
