So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
