Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
