I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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