I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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