so that wasnt chicken after all
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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