guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
