i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is the high leading the old right now
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
