You made me cry and you don't even care
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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