I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize