Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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