I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
