He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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