And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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