Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
