I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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