Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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