So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize