Already got asked if we're dating
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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